"From my understanding people get better when they start to understand that, they are valuable And they not valuable because they got a whole lot of money or cause somebody, think they sexy but they valuable caause they been created by God And God, makes you valuable And whether or not you, recognize that value is one thing You got a lot of socities and governments tryin to be God, wishin that they were God They wanna create satellites and cameras everywhere and make you think they got the all-seein eye I guess The Last Poets wasn't, too far off when they said that certain people got a God Complex I believe it's true I don't get phased out by none of that, none of that helicopters, the TV screens, the newscasters, the.. satellite dishes...they just, wishin They can't really never do that When they tell me to fear they law When they tell me to try to have some fear in my heart behind the things that they do This is what I think in my mind And this is what I say to them And this is what I'm sayin, to you check it..." 

   -Mos Def "Fear Not of Men"

When did we all become so afraid? From an anthropological standpoint, of course, to curb the daily danger and fear of a single man vs. a deadly nature, humans banded together, first as hunter-gatherer tribes and later as societies for security. Security from natural disasters, from famine, from illness, and especially from those everyday dangers that can creep up on us when our backs are turned. With another, or many others, we are able to figuratively and subjectively put eyes on the back of our heads.

Yet, this notion escalated. Encampments turned to towns, towns to villages, and villages became metropolitans. A lean-to became a cabin and a cabin became a castle, a castle needed a moat, and a moat needed a guard. Slowly, but painfully sure enough, our societies began to entice fear, rather than placate it.

So what do we have today? We have terror levels. We have swine/west nile/mad cow flu, which is hoping and waiting to uncover a new mutation and sneak in and decimate the human population. Our news tells us to fear cities, for their high crime rates, and to lock ourselves into suburbs to escape the villains of metropolita. Often the fear of said "villains," is rooted in a old and devious fear, as those criminals who un-proportionately fill our prisons have a skin color that is of the vast minority. Yet, we are inscribed that the more we put in prion, the less we will have "to fear."

At what point did we all decide that there was so much to fear in this world?

Many may have recently heard of the string of earthquakes in American Samoa and Vanuatu, as well as a few in Indonesia. In the South Pacific, such earthquakes can often be the source of alarm, due to the incursion of tsunamis in a ocean based quake.

This Thursday, as I was sitting eating lunch with my staff at Our Lady Of Mercy Catholic High school, a parent came in reporting she had heard Pohnpei was on Tsunami watch. From my school I can see ocean on 3 sides, and as the word tsu met the word nami my stomach began to lurch. Hoping to absorb the norm of the people here I looked around, and saw nothing but smiling faces. As seconds passed, most of the staff began to laugh at the notion, and make jokes about a tsunami. Not only were we predominately safe due to our barrier reef, but the notion of going berserk on a Pacific Island over a giant wave you had no control over carried no resignation with those in the room.

Our maintenance man coyly remarked to me with a smile, "Eat up Luke, this may be your last meal before the Tsunami hits," laughing, as he packed up his food, got his weed-wacker and continued the work he had been doing before lunch. I did precisely that, and following suit, held class and continued my day without the idea of the ocean, or its waves, entering my thoughts once.

Pohnpeians, and I feel Micronesians in general, have escaped the fear-monger that plagues us as Westerners. Rather than fight, toil, and create whatever means we can to control nature, it is far simpler and easier to allow nature to run its course. Some may call this foolish, some may call it unrealistic, but I call it faith.

What it boils down to is a lack of faith. If you want to call it in God, in Nature, in spirit, in love, it is of no consequence. What can not be argued is the ever-present loss of faith in something outside ourselves in Western culture. Our fear is rooted in this. Without control, we fear, when in actuality we are as minute, as insignificant, and as finite as a simple flake of sand to a rouge wave. We need to give up control, and it is only through this release that we can escape our fears, and hope to find love and happiness, and mot importantly peace, with ourselves, our families, our friends, our jobs, and our world.

"You are either on the bus or you are off the bus..."

-Ken Kesey in Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

As the leader of his group of "Merry Pranksters," Ken Kesey was known to break down his ideas and take on life in a simple metaphor relating to the bus, and bus trip, he and his troupe embarked on in 1964. In an attempt to break the social norms of the day, while at the same time engaging in a sort of oneness with one another, Kesey and his group hightailed it across the United States in a dilapidated bus painted with glowing paint and disguised in grandiouse costumes that fit their LSD trips. The bus became a symbol of oneness. You can get off the bus, and still be on it, but if you choose to truely leave and individually rift oneself, you can no longer be on the bus. 

It was the last day of summer school when Matt Miller, my JV compatriot, Gonzaga alum and Micronesian promise brother,  ran into our Saramen Chuuk apartment with one simple question, "Are you ready for an adventure?" The summer in Chuuk had been refreshing, re-vitalizing, and the perfect way to get ready for my second year in Pohnpei. Matt and I, freinds from college, would sit for hours discussing our time in Micronesia, problems and successes, and amidst a light course load of summer school classes where immersed in the stark beauty of the Chuukese landscape and the Chuukese people. Intertwined in our time in the Lagoon a pervading sense of security enveloped us. Of course, spending two years in a foriegn country is an adventure, yet, our summer routine was allowing for a sense of stagnation. 

The breakdown of island states, from Yap to Kosrae, in the FSM follows that each state is made up of large reef islands, with lagoons and series of outer atolls, or small reef islands outside the larger lagoon. As Jesuit Volunteers we focus most of our attention to the larger lagoon islands and don't get to spend much, if any, time on the outer islands. The reality lies that as the larger lagoon islands develop, a certain limbo strikes in which most of the traditional culture is preserved on the outer atolls. This was communicated to Matt and I time and time again throughout the summer, and it was a dream of ours to get out and see these outer islands, not just for adventure sake, but to gain a better understanding of the Micronesian landscape, to diversify the picture in our mind of this area, country and people. It was with this goal in mind that Matt and I started to pursue routes to make it to the outer islands before I left for the summer, to educate ourselves and engage in the sense of Micronesian oneness we had glimpsed and hinted at time and time in our year here.

It should also be noted that boat schedules, if they can be called that, are inconsistent at best. With so many people unable to afford air-travel, boats remain their only way to transport themselves and goods to some of the most remote places in the Pacific. We routinely asked around but were somewhat dismayed with the reality of schedules with our schools, and my return to Pohnpei, it did not seem like the trip would materialize. My mindset was such as Matt streaked into our apartment to let me know of the opportunity awaiting us. 

The boat, a 45 foot transport, was leaving for the Hall Islands, in 2 hours Matt said, and if we wanted to make moves, move we must. The Halls, I found out, were located a 12-15 hour boat ride North by Northwest of the Chuuk lagoon. We knew no one there, but the captain informed us at the least we could sleep on the boat for the duration of the trip if no one took us in.

After deliberating for a few minutes, the adventure seemed too much to pass up and after a small amount of food, an even smaller amount of clothes, and a large amount of reading materiel were stuffed into a bucket Matt and I sprinted down to the dock. We were on the boat.

Much like Kesey's bus, the boat serves as a central metaphor to life in Micronesia. It was with dual-rigger canoes the first Micronesians ventured the open spaces of the Pacific to reach the Philippines and central Asia to inform Western explorers of their existence. It was with boats that entire islands would establish networks of trade, communicate, and conduct war. It was with boats that foreigners came and stayed in these islands and it is with boats today that the majority of Micronesians travel amidst the vast ocean surrounding them. Thomas Merton explained that "no man is an island," when discussing the individual in context to the collective. It is with boats that Micronesians were able to establish a sense of oneness to the extent that "no island was an island." Boats served as the connector, the path, and the binding that brought things, people, and ideas together.

After explaining, with difficulty, to those waiting on the dock who we were, what we were doing, and why we were coming to their home, our fellow travelers warmed up to us. Kids started to laugh and joke with us, and the roaring engines struck water as the bow lead us out of the safety of the Chuuk lagoon and into the vast expansion of the Pacific Ocean. Finding space on a few ice chests stacked next to one another, Matt and I decided to try and rest, despite our excitement, of finally being on the boat. As we tossed and turned, the Pacific graciously stilled ourself for her new travelers. The water, much like its namesake, calmed and sat as we put distance between our past and our new adventure. To put us to sleep, and elderly Chuukese man sang in a deep baritone to the dark ocean around us. The whisk and clap of the waves on the bow served as the perfect back-drop to this man's native tongue and soon enough sleep enveloped us.

We woke up with tiny islands on the horizon, and as kids passed us a makeshift breakfast, Dorito chips and Kool-Aid, we watched the sun eclipse Bafun, known to us as the Hall Islands. The day served as a ferry of islanders from island to island. Amidst the fray Matt and I were introduced to the Mayor and the the Captain. For our entire trip, their real names would never be revealed, however, they served as our saving grace and their hospitality was unceasing. As mid day approached, we made more friends, were given local foods, and as the hot sun illuminating the clear blue we relished in the fact that we were truly on the boat.

At sundown we reached our final destination, the island of Ruo, where we were informed a room was prepared for us and we would be staying as the boat, we found out, would be collecting fish to be sold on its return to the Chuuk Lagoon. The mayor, awaiting us, already had fish cooked and breadfruit pounded to us as we progressed amidst a bevy of children awestruck but un-pensive to the foreign visitors. The boat remained anchored outside the island but the oneness and connectedness of everyone enveloped us. We were on Ruo, but we were still on the boat. 

We slept like babies and awoke to the silent greetings of our host, Dougie, who simply pointed downstairs with a grin to indicate breakfast was ready for us. We ate and drank coffee and set out to explore Ruo. Unceasingly, we were asked to come join families to eat, if there was anything we needed, our if we could be helped in anyway. Despite communication barriers, what was always given was a warm smile, a calm hello, and an overriding sense of togetherness. We spent the day with the people of Ruo after attending mass in the one church where, symbolically, the captain also served as the priest. 

For the next two days the people of Ruo treated Matt and I as family, we enjoyed meals together, joked, and simply sat and watched the waves crash on the reef, or the stars illuminate a sky void of street lights, neon signs, or candles for the most part. In Ruo, simplicity was a state of mind, and it was accompanied by a togetherness felt rather than told of or describable. By the time it was time for the boat to leave the lagoon and venture the ocean once more, our hosts had stacked piles of food for Matt and I the same as families sending off brothers, sisters, sons and daughters; we were still on the boat. 

Possibly seeing our luck, upset with our choice to leave, or simply as unpredictable as she can be, the Pacific did not grace us with the gentle ride returning home. Not to mention the close proximity of a packed boat full of not only passengers of the human variety, but pig, turtle, and an amass of fish caught to be sold in Weno. Matt and I entertained ourselves with talk of the trip, memories from home and despite a long trance, saw the sun rise over the Chuuk Lagoon before we knew it. We scrambled to get our things as the boat docked and as quick as we had decided to embark were outside our apartment again.

We were off the boat, but the boat was still with us.

“So when they say anything,
Say why is it?
Class is in session till the teacher gets a pink slip,
40 to a class
No wonder we delinquent,
Half the school never make it to commencement”
-Blue Scholars “No Rest For the Weary”


Culmination. Completion. Depending who or what group one is referring to these words could have varying definitions. In about a week Pohnpei Catholic School will celebrate the commencement of the 8th grade students whom I have had the honor and distinguish to teach this year. Certain students have spent 9 years at this school and the celebration will be the fulfillment of their academic career so far. Others, new to the community or transfers from different schools will walk alongside as companions on the journey. A small few will go on to top private high schools. Some will go to public school. Some will undoubtedly fall to the wayside, filing in the cycle of deprivation that a lack of education sustains. All are products of a system I have spent time reflecting on and observing and would like to express some thought on.

Amidst the preparation for the ceremony, it was communicated to me how important this day was for the students and parents. Further, that despite not saying their opinions, many parents would have high expectations and would be silently observing the ceremony to a “T.” I remarked to a staff member that I did not remember 8th grade commencement to be such a highly touted affair in my years and in my culture. He grinned and stated, “here in the FSM, we love praising mediocrity.” He chuckled, but I do not think his full intent was humor. Amidst conversations, this idea of mediocrity carries forth throughout my goals and aspirations as a teacher. In my strive for an ideal in education I continually hit this wall of, “that’s just the way it works here,” and “its different than in the states.”

The fact of the matter is, in 9 months of observing, living, and interacting with Micronesians they are not a people I would classify as “mediocre.” They are extremely dedicated to their families, willing to give of time and energy without thought or consideration to themselves. Here no one would ever spend time in the hospital alone, it is simply unfathomable that a family member would not dedicate time, money, and effort to make sure they or another member be with a sick relative around the clock. The sick member takes precedent not only over jobs, chores, and other, but also sleep, food and relaxation. The need of self is unanimously revoked for the need of the sick. This hardly strikes me as mediocre.

Other men I have met subsistence fish during the night because it is a free food source for their family. What struck me is they do this amidst working a 9 to 5 job that often can be physically and mentally demanding. This is always done without complaint, despite the lack of sleep or down time. Hardly mediocre.

Homelessness is fairly infrequent here due to the fact that a family is usually willing to give. People here rarely starve because those who “have” are almost always willing to “give.” Not exactly the sign of mediocrity.

Yet, as an outsider to the culture here I have a mindset based on a Western model. The highlight of that model is striving for excellence in all arenas, particularly education. One must do well in school to go to a good college. A good college gets one a good job. A good job provides for a healthy family. Multiple healthy families make up a striving society. Central to all this is an ever present un-attainable goal, that transcends until one must have a good funeral to reflect that one worked hard, had a good life, a good family, and the cycle continues on and on.

What is mediocrity? And why does MY model allow for its definition in a culture and for a people I am foreign to? Because they culminate their education at 9 years or 11 years with no college diploma or masters? I think not. Some of my students will never graduate high school. Some may certainly never go to college. But completion, success, culmination, and commencement are not measured by pieces of paper, speeches, or fancy robs and hats, at least not in the world I want to live in. True success, true “commencement” lies in the ability of each person to truly wish to better his or her situation. Whether that is by working harder for their family, fishing nights to eat, or studying to further one’s education is of no consequence. All provide a better life, a better world and exists as a converse to any definition of mediocrity.

Also its been awhile, but amidst a confirmation class retreat, confirmation, 8th grade retreat and many other events I have some more pictures:

Mass at the confirmation retreat
Myself and Tim, sunset...thank Luke Ricci for the new KC t-shirt (its the envy of all Micronesia)
At The Village for my 23rd
The kids swimming on the retreat
Me with my students at the completion of the retreat.

"I tell you one lesson I learned

If you want to reach something in life

You ain't gonna get it unless

You give a little bit of sacrifice..."

---The "legendary" Roots crew

Feet. Due to the tropical climate here in the Pacific, shoes loose their allure quickly. Instead, the cool, temperature considerate flip-flops, or “zorries” as they are called here take precedent in foot apparel. As such, outward appearances of feet in everyday situations tell you a lot about someone. If they have been working in the field, feet bear a tan, greenish color due to loose grass and foliage. If walking long distances, feet bear a rough, rugged, exterior. Furthermore, if someone spends his or her time sitting inside, feet also have an un-shielding look to expose where and what they have been.

 

For me the most reveling of feet are that of the elderly here. In a place where paved roads, the automobile, and forms of transportation took over for feet in the last 40-50 years, and due to size all necessities are within a walking proximity, it is still possible to see the work and toil of a life of walking, on the feet of the old.

 

Recently, in my 8^th grade religion class, I had a brief discussion of “compassion” with my kids. To them, the breakdown of the word meant, “to feel sorry for someone.” I challenged them on to see it deeper and eventually we as a class came to a consensus after a wonderful example. One of my students stated, “See Mister (as they call me for short) it is like that saying, you can’t understand someone until you walk in someone’s shoes. If my grandfather has a bad feet, I can’t be compassionate to him until I feel the pain it is for him to walk.” In a mass of pride and luck (I couldn’t believe I had gotten that stellar of an answer) I left the discussion at that and moved on to the next point.

 

This last weekend the staff of OLMVTS and PCS took the chance to go out and retreat from the monotony and everyday life in Kolonia Town. Fr. Jim led us in many exercises to grow as Catholic educators individually and collectively. It was the first reading of the retreat that brought me back to the idea of feet and their revealing quality. The first reading, found in the Gospel of John brought up the washing of the feet of the disciples by Jesus.

 

Jesus as a servant caught up my thoughts. Whether Catholic, Christian, or other, the figure of Jesus as a servant is acceptable. Jesus came not to rule, not to conquer but simply to serve. What further transfixed me was the metaphor of dirty feet. Simply put, no matter who you are, where you are from, your status, your possessions, wealth, or power, in a place where everyone wears sandals your feet inevitably get dirty. We are the same way as humans. No matter our background, no matter our future, our friends or enemies, our work ethic or lack there of we all have dirty souls. Like our feet, some of our flaws are evident, while some flaws lay hidden deep beneath our skin.

 

Yet, our greatest flaw, and antithesis to service, is when we focus entirely on our own dirty feet, our own individual flaws and continually put the whip to our backs for our humanity. As this process continues, we shy away from washing the feet of others, and instead focus on how dirty they are and pass the same judgment we have on ourselves to others. It is in this regard we loose sight of Christ’s example and succumb to our humaneness.

 

A big lesson for myself as of late has been to accept the dirty feet of others by first accepting my own. By regarding each other as imperfect, dirty, faulty, sinners we begin the first step in service to one another, we accept one another as we are, and in such an acceptance forgive others and ourselves. It is in this way our soul’s become clean, and we begin to clean the souls of others, as Christ so called.

Communion

"You go down there looking for justice,

 

that's what you find,

 

just us..." 

 

-Richard Pryor sampled in GangStarr's "Alongwaytogo"

 

I am a cradle Catholic. I was born, baptized and have spent 100% of my life in the Roman Catholic Church. I am proud of my beliefs, and feel confident enough to test the limits of, not only my own personal beliefs, but the day-to-day Catholic teachings, as well as the institutional church I belong to. Yet, being here on Pohnpei has asked me to look deep into the historical significance of faith, missionaries, and the spread of religion to a people where it was formerly foreign and unknown.

Communion, as defined by a web dictionary, is 1)the act or an instance of sharing, as of thoughts or feelings. 2)Religious or spiritual fellowship. 3)A body of Christians with a common religious faith who practice the same rites; a denomination, as well as 4)the sacrament of the Eucharist received by a congregation, the consecrated elements of the Eucharist, and the part of the Mass or a liturgy in which the Eucharist is received. 

The fact that Jesuit Volunteer International was a Catholic volunteer program greatly weighed on my decision to partake in its pillars for two years. Being a Catholic has shaped and molded many instances of my life; recently I was challenged as to why.

In the states I often looked past the Eucharist at mass. It always seemed to me a commonplace practice and ritual. I often went through the act without much cause, thought, or incite. Yet, at a recent spirituality night with the Jesuits, the Eucharist was the topic of discussion. I thought back to my First Communion at Our Lady Star of the Sea; I remembered my starched white shirt, my shined black shoes, and my tie with various sport paraphernalia on it, and I remember standing in a group of young Catholics to be, in anticipation for that wafer of initiation. At the time it seemed very magical, very surreal. From my young outsider perspective those who received were all members of the group, to receive meant to be a part of something, to belong. I rejoiced at the fact that soon I too would join "the line."

I then reflected on my late teens, when going to communion meant something much different. The week was filled with studies, sports, chores, and many other things. Church on Sunday offered a special time to sit back, reflect and enjoy the company of a community also worn out from a long week. I reflected on my enjoyment of the post-communion prayer, when I would kneel down and feel at ease with the church community I had grown up with and around; it was familiar, easy, and most of all comfortable. 

My first mass in Pohnpei I stood up at my introduction and looked around to foreign faces, names, and peoples. Amidst new languages, foods, customs, temperatures, and ways, the place I had always found ease and comfort, the church, was new and foreign as well. The reality of my new situation struck hard when after communion I did not recognize a single face, save the priest I had met minutes before mass. 

Slowly but surely things changed, the culture I was foreign to opened its most admirable feature frequent and often; hospitality to the outsider. With my work at the school faces became more recognizable, names became known, and encounters became hellos. Before I knew it, I had friends who I was looking forward to saying hello to before and after mass. It did not happen at some sudden moment, but gradually I was beginning to feel like a part of the community.

This last week I had the privilege of serving as Eucharistic Minister for our school mass. Neat the end of the line I watched as all of my students approached me for Communion. I looked each in the eye, served, then sat down fulfilled with the experience, there was no funny looks, no snickers, it was business as usual for all parties; once again I finally felt liked I was beginning to belong. 

I am by no means the most conservative of Catholics, and am apt to question as much dogma and faith based belief as I can. However, whether the work of the Eucharist or not, I find it to be a miracle that communion has continually had the ability to draw me in with groups of people. Yet, I have begun to question where the notion of community comes from, the community at large, or the group that gathers under the banner of the Eucharist?

This Christmas we traveled to Chuuk to spend the holiday with the volunteers working at the high schools on that island. In one of the rooms at Saramen Chuuk there were questions spanning multiple subjects written all over the walls. One question caught my eye and has had me thinking ever since. It read, “was God here before the missionaries?” The notion is simple, that if Micronesian’s had never been given God’s word and message, would they know God? Would they know his Son? If they never heard the word, Eucharist, would they still understand communion? Micronesian history is ripe with missionaries who came preaching a different way of life to locals than what they had known, aspects of the culture were kept, but many were denounced. As for now, one can not drive very far in Pohnpei without seeing a different religious order from some foreign place telling people the their way is the best way

So I pondered the question in conjunction with my experience with the Catholic Church and I came to a conclusion; I realized that it is of no consequence. That in life there is no clear-cut concrete way of life, instead people are at their best when they allow give and take from one another and start enjoying one another for who they truly are, not what they want them to be. It is only then when we can learn from one another, and then when we can truly see each other in communion, whether at church, at the store, in jail, developed, poor, rich, strong, weak, confident.

As well, below are some pictures of the PCS Christmas program (theme: Jesus was born in Pohnpei) as well as JVI Christmas in Chuuk.

                                          Pisar, in the Chuuk lagoon, the sight of our retreat
                                            Micro volunteers
                                           Lavin and Miller reunited, plus staches
                                            Pohnpei volunteers.

                                       Pohnpei Catholic School Christmas program
The gift bearers with the 8th graders in front.